Progress Post 8

Yes I know it’s been a while since my last post, but I wasn’t sure if it was really making a difference in my journey. I wish I had lots of positive things to write…but I do remain optimistic even with all my setbacks.

Ok so those books I was going to read are still sitting on my night stand. I keep renewing them but I’m too exhausted at night to read them and have no other time. Or I should say time I can justify sitting and reading.

I got fake nails put back on. Not sure if I really pick that much less, but it doesn’t create as much damage as my real nails. I just hate having to make time for the upkeep. It’s not like it is relaxing having them filled and I can justify getting a manicure.

As far as makeup, I am back to using it cosmetics cc cream as the urban decay was just looking awful on me. When I run out, I would like to try Tarte Double Beauty Gel Foundation.

Another new thing is I have started to see an esthetician. She is just fantastic and very understanding. She knows I’m a skin picker (obviously). I have only had a couple mini facials since she doesn’t want to do too much until we address my acne issue. It’s getting really bad on the sides of face. So bumpy and just disgusting. L She has me taking probiotics and cutting out dairy (which is not hard for me). She definitely thinks I am having a reaction to something. I tried cutting out nuts for two weeks but didn’t notice an improvement. I think I will try cutting out corn for two weeks. I have been eating a lot of puffed corn. I still use the OCM, but fear that it may not be helping me, but it really gets all my makeup off... I have also switched over PCA skin products. I am giving them a chance but haven’t noticed too much improvement. I’ve only been using samples so I feel like I have nothing to lose by trying them. Although I really wanted to go with all natural products…they obviously are not working. I want to believe that if I didn’t pick my face my acne would just go away, but I don’t think that is entirely true. Yes it would be much better, but still not clear.

I have seen my esthetician twice and have my third appointment tomorrow and I am getting very anxious cause she wanted to do a facial but I can’t have any open wounds. Well shouldn’t be a shocker to fellow skin pickers, but I do. I tried to do better, but just thinking about it makes me want to “fix” my face. Of course scoring the Internet on how to clear acne scabs in one day isn’t quite going to work out. I’m tempted to cancel, but I am out of products. I feel like a disappointment. I had two weeks to try and leave my face along and I couldn’t resist. Wish me luck. I will write what happened…if I can find confidence to go there…

Skin Care

Ok so I certainly don’t want to sound like an infomercial or anything like that. I just want to share with you my experience finding skin care products that can help skin pickers. I am in no way free of skin picking but it is getting better. I am a face picker and believe if I can just get my acne under control my picking will be so much less. This though can apply to other nonface pickers. 

Now I have tried and spent so much time and money and even research into finding products that will “cure” me. Of course there is no such thing because I am causing the damage. So instead I need to focus on what products fit into my lifestyle. 

I consider myself a pretty health conscious person for the most part so I started researching all natural face products. I liked what I read and started looking online to purchase. On a whim I looked on etsy and emailed a few sellers and gave them a bit of my background. 

I received an email from Jerra of Bearsbeauty. http://www.bearsbeauty.com I thought sure I’d give her products a chance. I mean my face was already bad so it couldn’t hurt. Jerra has been so much more than just a sales person. I can honestly say that if she were in it just for the money she would ignore my countless emails for help. She truly wants to help and is sensitive to all of my skin issues. She doesn’t judge and has experience with dermatillomania. She is very knowledgeable on skin care products and takes the time to develop a routine that can work for you. I think of her as my skin therapist.

 I know I still have a lot of damage to repair and I am still having setbacks, but I know that with the right products I can be better. ..or at least have hope… So I gain no benefit from posting this. Just hoping to help others.

Progress Post 7

So I went to the store to change my makeup. I was using it cosmetics cc cream. Loved the coverage, but the color was a bit off and the ingredients were not so good. I decided I was going to get Urban Decay Naked Skin (recommended by Jerra). Of course the sales lady was pushy and suggested a fuller coverage brand. (Thank you for reminding me of how much I need to hide my face) I have been wearing it for two days now and yes the coverage isn’t what I’m used to but I think it I just apply a couple layers it will be ok. I haven’t seen any improvement in my skin…but it’s only been two days.

I feel like my skin has looked better than it does presently. Maybe I have been picking a bit more. Ok just admit it I have. I can see there is a direct correlation between my skin picking and stress. I struggle with the face that I think if my skin were clearer I would pick less. While that may be true, I can’t help to think I will find something else to pick. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in the house for a couple days and not wear makeup to see if my face would improve. Of course with two kids I not sure that would go so well. Sometimes we all need a break J

So yes, I need to plan my next course of action. I am looking into reading a couple books on positive thinking and self-compassion. We shall see how that goes… 

Progress Post 6

I feel like there is a bit of a setback this week. I am still doing better than I have been. I have come a long way in the past couple months. ….but I can still find a way to “cheat” if I have access to mirror. Isn’t that awful! I am embarrassed to admit it. One problem I’m running into is that I am trying out a bunch of different mineral makeup, but I need to look in a mirror to put it on correctly. My old foundation way easy…not much blending and done. I could literally have it done in a few minutes. Although I know the color was a bit off it worked.

I want my make-up to look more natural not so cakey. Your makeup should enhance your face right? Well not if you have discolored acne skin… I am really striving to go with all natural face products and now it’s time for makeup as well. I have talked about powder and how it so far hasn’t been a good experience and now I am trying out all natural liquid makeup. I am finding the best coverage to be liquid then maybe mineral powder. I hate that it takes me longer to apply and I need better light. That is bad news for any skin picker. But I really want to see if changing my makeup will help with my acne. I really need to work on my self-control during this!

Another thing I am striving to work on is forgiveness if I pick. I tend to get so upset with myself that I just can’t let it go. One thing I am trying to accomplish is to accept what is done as far as picking and move on. Just continue with my day. It is so hard when all you can think about if how far you’ve come and now you take a step back…

Acne Absorbing Patches

I want to share with you one of my favorite products: acne absorbing patches.  I use this brand: https://www.amazon.com/Perforated-Cover-Dot-Acne-Care-Absorbing/dp/B00X6JHY3S

I have used to two other brands but love this one best. You can read over the review for this one and the other ones.  I have to say it has stood the test of time as far as acne products go. It creates a barrier between my fingers and my skin and can also heal acne or open wounds faster. Although you really can’t put makeup over it, it’s great for around the house or overnight. I have occasionally worn them in public and you really can’t tell unless they are in a really obvious spot….and sometimes they look better than having a huge open sore.

The only downside is that if you continue to use them they aren’t cheap. But sometimes my sanity/self-esteem is worth it. It makes me feel better knowing that it this little Band-Aid is helping my skin and my urges. I encourage all face pickers to at least try it…

Progress Post 5

So I only have a few open sores maybe 1-2. That is a HUGE improvement. I should be happy about that, but instead all I see is a bunch of acne and red blotches. It also doesn’t help that I am trying to find new makeup that is better for my skin but might not give me the coverage I want. What I have learned this past week is that I put too much thought into what my face looks like. I see so much more than anyone else who looks at me probably sees. I mean really who I am trying to impress…

Yes I have acne and quite a bit. I am working on improving my skin, but it takes time for these products to do their job. (When it comes to my face, I am not patient!)

As I had said in an earlier post I am working with an amazing seller from etsy (http://www.bearsbeauty.com/) to help me find products and a routine that will help me. I recommend her to any skin picker! Jerra (the seller) truly wants to help not just get my money.

I still need to constantly remind myself not to touch my face, but it’s a struggle.

Update of my fake nails: I really see improvement!!! It’s worth a try

Fidget Toys

The idea is if you keep your hands busy, the need to pick should lessen. The problem I have come across is you have to make sure you always have them. It would be helpful to have more than one or a few different ones so you don’t get bored. I have also read that you should find toys to mimic the sensation you get from picking. Although as a skin picker…there is none. The one toy I really like is the snake bracelet. It is easy to have with you at all times and it can really keep your hands busy. http://store.trich.org/product_p/f_snake_bracelet.htm

Here’s another good website http://www.officeplayground.com/

Of course if you don’t want to buy anything or looking for a cheaper alternative you can try: bubble wrap, picking at cork stops, homemade silly putty, fill a balloon with sand for a stress ball, rubber bands, ripping paper, pipe cleaners, or just anything you can keep handy for your fingers to be busy.