Progress Post 8

Yes I know it’s been a while since my last post, but I wasn’t sure if it was really making a difference in my journey. I wish I had lots of positive things to write…but I do remain optimistic even with all my setbacks.

Ok so those books I was going to read are still sitting on my night stand. I keep renewing them but I’m too exhausted at night to read them and have no other time. Or I should say time I can justify sitting and reading.

I got fake nails put back on. Not sure if I really pick that much less, but it doesn’t create as much damage as my real nails. I just hate having to make time for the upkeep. It’s not like it is relaxing having them filled and I can justify getting a manicure.

As far as makeup, I am back to using it cosmetics cc cream as the urban decay was just looking awful on me. When I run out, I would like to try Tarte Double Beauty Gel Foundation.

Another new thing is I have started to see an esthetician. She is just fantastic and very understanding. She knows I’m a skin picker (obviously). I have only had a couple mini facials since she doesn’t want to do too much until we address my acne issue. It’s getting really bad on the sides of face. So bumpy and just disgusting. L She has me taking probiotics and cutting out dairy (which is not hard for me). She definitely thinks I am having a reaction to something. I tried cutting out nuts for two weeks but didn’t notice an improvement. I think I will try cutting out corn for two weeks. I have been eating a lot of puffed corn. I still use the OCM, but fear that it may not be helping me, but it really gets all my makeup off... I have also switched over PCA skin products. I am giving them a chance but haven’t noticed too much improvement. I’ve only been using samples so I feel like I have nothing to lose by trying them. Although I really wanted to go with all natural products…they obviously are not working. I want to believe that if I didn’t pick my face my acne would just go away, but I don’t think that is entirely true. Yes it would be much better, but still not clear.

I have seen my esthetician twice and have my third appointment tomorrow and I am getting very anxious cause she wanted to do a facial but I can’t have any open wounds. Well shouldn’t be a shocker to fellow skin pickers, but I do. I tried to do better, but just thinking about it makes me want to “fix” my face. Of course scoring the Internet on how to clear acne scabs in one day isn’t quite going to work out. I’m tempted to cancel, but I am out of products. I feel like a disappointment. I had two weeks to try and leave my face along and I couldn’t resist. Wish me luck. I will write what happened…if I can find confidence to go there…